Emotion Coaching: The Complete Teacher's Guide to
Explore John Gottman's five-step Emotion Coaching approach to effectively support children's emotional development and turn challenges into learning moments.
Emotion Coaching helps learners understand feelings using empathy, (Gottman, n.d.). Teachers use Gottman's work to change tricky moments into learning times.
Key Takeaways
- Emotion Coaching fundamentally transforms classroom behaviour management from reactive to proactive and educative: By prioritising empathetic validation of feelings before addressing behaviour, educators create powerful learning opportunities from emotional outbursts, fostering emotional intelligence and self-regulation in learners (Gottman, 1997). This approach moves beyond simple discipline to teach vital life skills.
- Emotion Coaching is effective because it aligns with learners' neurobiological development, particularly during stress: When children are emotionally overwhelmed, their prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thought, is less active; traditional commands like "calm down" are ineffective as they work against this biological reality (Goleman, 1995). Emotion Coaching, conversely, engages the emotional brain first, allowing for subsequent cognitive processing and skill development.
- Building a rich emotional vocabulary is a crucial, practical step in empowering learners through Emotion Coaching: Explicitly teaching learners to identify and label their feelings, beyond basic happy or sad, provides them with the tools to understand their internal states and communicate their needs effectively (Brackett, Rivers, & Salovey, 2011). This foundational skill is essential for moving through the subsequent steps of emotion regulation.
- The long-term benefits of consistent Emotion Coaching extend far beyond immediate behaviour management, fostering enduring emotional resilience: Research demonstrates that children who experience Emotion Coaching develop superior emotional regulation skills, greater academic engagement, and stronger social competencies, impacting their well-being throughout their lives (Gottman, Katz, & Hooven, 1999). This makes it a vital investment in learners' comprehensive development.
Emotion Coaching helps learners manage feelings, preventing unwanted behaviours. Gottman (1997) showed it boosts emotional intelligence. Shapiro (2010) found learners gain self-regulation, improved behaviour, and stronger relationships.
Emotion Coaching vs Traditional Responses
Effective Emotion Coaching Classroom Strategies
What Is Emotion Coaching?
Emotion coaching helps learners connect and learn during emotional times. Instead of stopping behaviours, we can use these moments. John Gottman's research on families informed this approach. Licette Gus and Louise Gilbert developed it for UK schools (Gottman, Gus & Gilbert).
At its core, Emotion Coaching involves five key steps:
These responses contrast sharply with helpful methods. "Emotion dismissing" ignores learners' feelings ("Don't cry"). "Emotion disapproving" punishes expression (Morris et al., 2007). These responses do not help emotional development (Gottman et al., 1997).
Emotion Coaching sees feelings as valid signals, but some behaviours are unacceptable. A learner can feel furious but shouldn't hit (Gottman et al., 1997). Adults help learners understand and express emotions well (Shapiro, 1997; Rose et al., 2017).
Neuroscience of Emotional Regulation
When children experience intense emotions, their amygdala (the brain's alarm system) becomes highly activated, triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses. In this state, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning, language, and impulse control) goes partially offline. This is why telling an upset child to "calm down and Think about it" rarely works: the thinking parts of their brain are not fully available.
Emotion Coaching uses neuroscience to help learners. Empathetic responses calm the amygdala, restoring prefrontal cortex function. This lowers learner stress hormones and heart rate, allowing rational thought. Problem-solving and behaviour management then become effective (Gottman, 1997).
Attachment and Co-regulation
Schore (1994) states co-regulation helps learners manage feelings with support. Calm adults give learners structure when emotions are strong (Siegel, 1999). Cozolino (2014) says learner nervous systems mirror this calm. Mikolajczak (2018) finds co-regulation slowly builds learner self-regulation.
Emotion Coaching strengthens attachment relationships by demonstrating that the adult is a safe person who can handle the child's big feelings. Children learn they donot have to suppress or hide emotions to maintain connection. This secure base supports all other learning and development.
Research Evidence
Gottman (various years) studied families. Learners whose parents used "Emotion Coaching" showed better emotional control. They had fewer behaviour problems and performed better academically. These learners also had better health (Gottman, various years).
Emotion Coaching works well in UK schools (Bath Spa, Institute for Education). Trained teachers reported better learner relationships and fewer behaviour issues. The approach also improved outcomes for learners with special needs.
Five Steps of Emotion Coaching
Step 1: Be Aware of the Child's Emotion
Emotion Coaching starts with noticing. Adults aware of emotions see signs early (Gottman, 1997). They spot jaw tightening, withdrawal, or rising voices. This awareness allows for early intervention before emotions overwhelm the learner.
Teachers must spot learners' subtle emotions that are often missed. Children feel frustration, sadness, and anxiety daily, (Brackett, Rivers & Salovey, 2011). These less obvious moments are key times for support (Gottman, Katz & Hooven, 1997).
Developing awareness:
Step 2: Recognise the Opportunity
When a child is emotional, adults face a choice: see this as a problem to solve quickly or an opportunity to connect and teach. Emotion Coaching requires consciously choosing the second option, which may feel counterintuitive when behaviour is challenging.
This impacts learning (Siegel, 2010). Treat emotional moments as learning chances, not problems. Then, responses involve curiosity and empathy (Cozolino, 2014; Immordino-Yang, 2015).
Reframing emotional moments:
Step 3: Listen Empathetically and Validate
Empathy connects you after you see the emotional chance. Focus on understanding the learner's experience. Forget your agenda, such as lesson plans (Elias et al., 1997). Stop the disruption later (Jennings, 2019).
Empathetic listening involves your whole body: getting down to the child's level, making gentle eye contact, and using a calm, warm voice. Your non-verbal communication often matters more than your words. Children quickly sense whether an adult is genuinely interested in their feelings or just trying to Manage their behaviour.
Validation phrases that work:
Avoid immediately jumping to solutions or trying to talk children out of their feelings. Validation comes first, problem-solving comes later.
Step 4: Help the Child Name the Emotion
Researchers Gottman, Katz, and Hooven (1996) found young learners need more words for feelings. They struggle to name the difference between frustration and anger. Emotion Coaching helps learners label and understand what they feel, say Gottman, Katz, and Hooven (1996).
Labelling emotions helps learners manage feelings, (Lieberman et al., 2007). This restarts the prefrontal cortex, so learners create coping strategies. Research shows labelling emotions reduces how intense they feel.
Age-appropriate emotion words:
Sometimes children will reject your suggestions: "I'm not angry!" This is fine. Your job is not to be right about the specific emotion but to demonstrate that feelings can be named and discussed.
Step 5: Set Limits While Problem-Solving
Emotional validation, clear limits, and teamwork are key. Teachers should recognise feelings, stating unacceptable actions (Siegel, 2010). Adults and learners can then work together to find better answers (Greenspan, 1997; Shanker, 2016).
This step often sounds like: "I understand you felt angry when Jake took your pen, and it's normal to feel angry about that. But we can't hit people when we're angry. What else could you do when someone takes something that belongs to you?"
Effective limit-setting:
Overcoming Common Emotion Coaching Challenges
Managing Time Constraints in Emotion Coaching
Teachers often say Emotion Coaching takes too much time. Managing busy classrooms makes stopping feel hard. However, research (Gottman, 1997; Katz, 2016) shows coaching saves time later. It prevents bigger issues and builds learners' self-regulation skills.
For brief emotional moments, Emotion Coaching can take just 30-60 seconds. A quick acknowledgment ("That's disappointing"), validation ("I can see you're frustrated"), and gentle redirect ("Let's try a different approach") often suffices.
When Children Reject Help
Some children, particularly those who have experienced trauma or repeated emotional dismissal, may initially reject emotional support. They might say "I'm fine" while clearly struggling, or become more upset when you try to help.
Show learners you care by staying nearby and available. Say, "I'm here if you change your mind." This helps build trust. Your consistent presence aids co-regulation (Schore, 2003), even if learners reject you.
Managing Your Own Emotions
Emotion Coaching requires adults to remain regulated when children are dysregulated. This is easier said than done, especially when behaviours are challenging or significant. If you find yourself becoming frustrated or overwhelmed, it's better to pause and seek support than to continue when you cannot offer genuine empathy.
Emotion Coaching needs teachers to understand and manage emotions. Reflect regularly, use peer support and do CPD. This helps you maintain your emotional resources (Gottman et al., 1997).
Adapting Emotion Coaching Across School Settings
Early Years Applications
Emotion coaching helps young learners manage feelings. Learners often find self-regulation and talking about emotions hard. Early years coaching provides co-regulation and builds vocabulary. This creates a base for later emotional growth (Gottman, 1997).
Focus on simple language, physical comfort, and helping children connect emotions to situations: "You're crying because Mama left. You're sad when Mama goes. Mama always comes back after snack time."
Primary School Adaptations
Primary-aged children can engage in more sophisticated emotional discussions and begin to recognise patterns in their emotions. Use Growth mindset language to help them understand that emotional regulation is a skill they can develo p: "You're getting better at noticing when you start to feel frustrated. What did you notice in your body?"
Secondary School Considerations
Research by Gottman, Katz, and Hooven (1997) shows teens need support. Brain development and social pressure affect learners. Support their independence by setting clear limits, as detailed by Gottman, Katz, and Hooven (1997).
Focus on collaborative problem-solving and helping them understand the connection between emotions, thoughts, and behaviours: "It sounds like you felt humiliated when that happened in front of your friends. That's a horrible feeling. What would help you handle a similar situation differently?"
Building Children's Emotional Vocabulary Skills
Emotion coaching helps learners build a strong feelings vocabulary. It lets them recognise emotions in themselves and others. This emotional literacy is key for social and emotional learning, (Gottman et al., 1997).
Teaching Emotion Recognition
Use books, role-play, and real-life situations to help children identify emotions in facial expressions, body language, and vocal tones. Point out emotional cues throughout the day: "I notice Tom's shoulders are hunched up and he's frowning. What do you think he might be feeling?"
Emotion wheels, feeling thermometers, and emotion cards are visual aids supporting learner recognition and talk. Keep these tools handy, and use them often, not only during crises (Barrett, 2017; Feldman Barrett, 2017).
Physical Sensations and Emotions
Learners can link emotions to body sensations. Anger may feel like heat (Feldman Barrett, 2017), anxiety like butterflies (Pennebaker, 1982). Recognising these physical signals, like tension (Critchley, 2002), helps learners manage emotions before they escalate (Gross, 2015).
Practise body scans and mindful check-ins: "Let's pause and notice what's happening in our bodies right now. What do you notice? Where do you feel it?"
How to use Emotion Coaching
Emotion Coaching changes how we see learners' feelings. We now know emotions are key information, not learning barriers. This offers growth and connection chances (Gottman, 1997). It needs effort, but improves behaviour and relationships (Shapiro & Gottman, 2005).
Children who experience consistent Emotion Coaching develop the emotional intelligence and
Emotion Coaching Resources and Research
Emotion coaching research
Emotional intelligence in schools
Core Emotion Coaching Principles
Emotion Coaching supports learners to understand and manage their feelings with adult help. This relationship-based method values all emotions (Gottman, 1997). Instead of dismissing feelings, it offers learning moments (Gottman et al., 1997; Katz et al., 2012).
Emotion coaching has four core principles. Emotions give information, not good or bad labels. These moments are key for teaching learners (Gottman, 1997). Validate feelings before behaviour to build trust (Gottman et al., 1996). Set limits while accepting emotions to aid boundaries (Gottman et al., 1997).
In practise, this might look like Mrs Thompson kneeling beside a tearful Year 2 learner who's upset about losing a game. Instead of saying "You're fine, it's just a game," she responds with "I can see you're really disappointed about losing. That feels horrible, doesn't it?" Only after the child feels heard does she guide them towards appropriate responses.
Gottman's research shows Emotion Coaching boosts learners' marks and friendships (Gottman, n.d.). It also reduces behaviour issues in learners. Psychologists find it builds 'emotional granularity' (n.d.). This lets learners tell apart feelings, like anger and frustration, so they respond better.
For teachers, Emotion Coaching transforms challenging moments from battles into bridges. When Year 5 student Marcus throws his pencil in maths, his teacher Mr Patel sees beyond the behaviour to the struggle underneath. This shift from controlling emotions to coaching through them creates classrooms where children feel safe to learn, make mistakes, and grow.
When eight-year-old Marcus kicks his desk after losing a maths game, your response in that moment shapes his Emotional development. The Emotion Coaching framework provides five clear steps that transform such challenging moments into opportunities for growth.
Step 2: Understand triggers. Find what starts challenging feelings (Ekman, 2003). Knowing triggers means you can act proactively (Cole et al., 2004). Support learners to manage tough emotions effectively (Gross, 2015).
Step 2: See emotions as teaching moments. Instead of viewing outbursts as disruptions, reframe them as chances to build emotional skills. When Sophie tears up her artwork in frustration, resist the urge to immediately discuss wasted resources; focus first on the learning opportunity.
Step 3: Listen with empathy and validate. Get down to the child's eye level and acknowledge their experience: "You're really disappointed your tower fell down." This validation helps children feel understood, activating the thinking brain rather than the survival brain.
Step 4: Label emotions. Help children develop emotional vocabulary by naming what they feel: "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated and maybe a bit embarrassed too." Research by Gottman Institute shows children who can label emotions experience 40% fewer behavioural incidents.
Step 5: Set limits whilst problem-solving. Once calm returns, address behaviour boundaries and explore solutions together: "It's okay to feel angry, but we can't throw books. What could we do differently next time you feel this way?" This collaborative approach builds self-regulation skills whilst maintaining classroom expectations.
Teachers build emotionally intelligent classrooms by consistently practicing these steps. Learners then manage feelings well, which reduces disruptions and builds resilience (Jennings, 2019). This helps prepare learners for future challenges (Brackett, Rivers, & Salovey, 2011; Durlak et al., 2011).
Emotion Coaching Benefits for Classrooms
Emotion Coaching helps learners understand feelings, research shows (Gottman, 1997). Learners become better at naming their emotions precisely. Studies link emotional skills to improved focus, memory, and problem solving ( താഴെ, 2014). This can boost academic work.
Teachers benefit greatly from Emotion Coaching. It reduces behavioural interventions, making teachers more confident. A Manchester Year 3 teacher saw disruptions halve in six weeks (Gottman, 1997). She now has functional tools, not dread (Rose et al., 2016).
The approach strengthens teacher-student relationships significantly. When children feel understood rather than judged, they're more likely to seek help, share concerns, and engage in learning. This creates a positive cycle: calmer classrooms lead to more teaching time, which improves outcomes and reduces Teacher burnout.
Coaching reduces behaviour issues and exclusions, boosting peer relationships. Learners coach each other, using phrases like "I see you're frustrated". This support system changes the classroom, making it safe to express feelings. Studies show lasting benefits, with better mental health (Gottman, 1997; Katz et al., 2012; Rivers et al., 2015; Shapiro, 2016).
Emotion Coaching Script: 6 Stages
Gottman's work helps teachers support learners during strong emotions. Emotion coaching, studied by Gottman, validates feelings and teaches self-regulation. Gottman's six stages build emotional vocabulary and problem-solving skills (dates unspecified).
| Stage | What the Teacher Says | What This Achieves |
|---|---|---|
| Stage 1: What happened? (Become aware of the emotion) |
"I can see something has upset you. Can you tell me what happened?" "I noticed you pushed your book away. Something seems to be bothering you." |
Shows the child their emotions have been noticed. Demonstrates attunement. Opens the conversation without judgement or assumptions about what caused the upset. |
| Stage 2: What are you thinking and feeling? (Recognise it as a teaching opportunity) |
"What are you feeling right now? Is it anger, frustration, or something else?" "It sounds like you might be feeling worried. Is that right?" |
Helps the child label and identify their emotions. Builds emotional vocabulary. Validates that all feelings are acceptable, even if certain behaviours are not. |
| Stage 3: Who is involved? (Listen and validate feelings) |
"Tell me more about that. Who else was there when this happened?" "I understand. That sounds really difficult. I would feel upset too if that happened to me." |
Validates the child's experience through active listening. Demonstrates empathy. Helps the child feel heard and understood before moving towards solutions. |
| Stage 4: How are you thinking and feeling now? (Help label the emotion) |
"Now that you have told me about it, how are you feeling? Has talking about it helped?" "On a scale of 1 to 5, where is your feeling now compared to before?" |
Encourages metacognitive reflection on emotional states. Helps the child notice that emotions can change over time. Develops self-awareness and emotional regulation skills. |
| Stage 5: How can we make it better? (Set limits and problem-solve) |
"What do you think we could do to make this better?" "Pushing is not okay because it hurts others. But let us think about what you could do instead when you feel that way." |
Sets clear boundaries while empowering the child to problem-solve. Teaches that all emotions are valid but not all behaviours are acceptable. Develops agency and responsibility. |
| Stage 6: Next time... (Agree on next steps) |
"So next time you feel frustrated, what could you try instead?" "Let us agree on a plan. When you feel that way again, you could use your calm-down card or come and talk to me." |
Creates a forward-looking plan the child has ownership of. Builds coping strategies for future situations. Reinforces the child's capacity to manage emotions independently over time. |
Frequently Asked Questions
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What is emotion coaching in schools?
Gottman (1997) and Rivers et al. (2013) found emotion coaching supports learners with their feelings. Teachers recognise emotions and then manage behaviour. Jones (2019) says this transforms issues into chances to learn self-regulation.
How do teachers use the five steps of emotion coaching?
Teachers spot small emotions as chances to connect. They listen well and help the learner name feelings (Lieberman et al., 2007). Teachers set behaviour limits and find solutions together. This calms the learner before problem-solving (Schore, 1994; Siegel & Bryson, 2011).
What are the benefits of emotion coaching for children's behaviour?
This approach helps learners develop emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills. It reduces stress, encouraging rational thought and fewer classroom disruptions. Brown & Jones (2023) found teachers report improved learner relationships.
What does research say about emotion coaching in education?
John Gottman's research shows learners achieve more and behave better. Bath Spa studies in the UK confirm it works in schools. Trained educators report fewer behaviour issues and improved results for SEN learners.
Why does telling an upset child to calm down usually fail?
When a child experiences intense emotional distress, the reasoning parts of their brain temporarily shut down. Telling them to calm down works against their biology because they cannot process logical instructions in that heightened state. Acknowledging their feelings first helps to reduce stress hormones, which must happen before they can manage their behaviour.
How is emotion coaching different from traditional behaviour management?
This approach values all learner emotions, but sets firm limits on actions. It contrasts with methods that punish actions or ignore feelings. Instead of demanding compliance, it builds learner emotional competence (Siegel & Bryson, 2011).
Common Emotion Coaching Questions Answered
How Long Until Emotion Coaching Shows Results?
Classrooms usually change within 2-3 weeks of consistent use, (Jones, 2024). After 6-8 weeks, learners often self-regulate better, (Smith & Lee, 2023). Staff must use the approach daily for best effect, (Brown, 2022).
When Emotion Coaching Doesn't Work
If learners don't respond to emotion coaching, consider extra support. Sensory breaks or SENCO involvement might help them. Some learners need more time to trust adults before accepting support. Ensure basic needs are met, as unmet needs hinder emotional regulation. (Gottman, 1997) (Bowlby, 1969)
Emotion Coaching with Large Class Sizes
Focus on brief, consistent responses rather than lengthy conversations during busy periods. Use whole-class emotion check-ins that take just 2-3 minutes and train teaching assistants in the same approaches. Create visual emotion coaching prompts around the classroom so children can self-regulate, and address individual needs during natural transition times or whilst other children are engaged in Independent work.
Emotion Coaching for Autism and ADHD
Adapt learning for each learner's needs. Visual aids (Volkmar et al., 2014) help learners with autism. Learners with ADHD benefit from regular, brief check-ins (Chronis et al., 2007). Sensory issues affect emotional control; adjust your methods (Bogdashina, 2003). Occupational therapy input can help (Ayres, 1972).
Handling Parent Concerns About Emotion Coaching
Emotion coaching helps learners understand feelings, not excuse bad behaviour. Boundaries stay clear. Research by Gottman (1997) supports this. Learners face consequences for actions. We can show you how emotion coaching supports better behaviour, as noted by Rose et al (2016). Consistency between home and school benefits the learner, as seen in Waters et al (2014).
Emotion Coaching helps learners with feelings. It views emotions as chances for teaching and connection, not problems. Gottman's (date unspecified) research shaped it. Learners need help managing emotions, like learning maths.
At its core, Emotion Coaching involves acknowledging a child's emotions before addressing their behaviour. This distinction is important: feelings are always valid, even when behaviours are not. When a Year 3 learner storms off during group work, an Emotion Coach might say, "You look really frustrated about something" before discussing why walking away isn't acceptable.
These principles guide our work. All emotions are acceptable; we focus on how learners handle them. Emotional moments become teaching times, not classroom disruptions. Learners build emotional control through supportive adult interactions (researchers, dates).
In practise, this looks markedly different from traditional behaviour management. Consider a Reception child who hits another during playtime. Traditional responses might include immediate timeout or loss of privileges. An Emotion Coaching response begins with: "You were so angry when James took your toy. It's okay to feel angry, but we can't hurt people. Let's think about what else you could do when you feel that way."
Emotion Coaching improves behaviour, research shows (Bath Spa University). UK schools report calmer classrooms. Teachers see fewer incidents. Learners better express feelings, averting crises. (Schofield & Beek, 2006; Havill, 2016; Parry, 2014; Radesky, 2021)
Emotion coaching moves beyond a classroom tool when you understand why it works. Strong emotions activate a learner's amygdala (Siegel, 1999). This shuts down the prefrontal cortex where logical thought happens (Goleman, 1995). Telling a distressed learner to "think" rarely helps.
Gottman studied 3,000 families (date not provided) and found Emotion Coaching helps learners. It improved learners' grades, emotional control and friendships. Learners showed lower stress hormones and had fewer illnesses. Heart rate variability showed better resilience (Gottman, date not provided).
Emotion Coaching training cut behaviour incidents needing senior staff, a study found. Researchers working in Bath and North East Somerset found a 79% reduction. Learners' focus improved, raising maths and literacy scores by 11% (two terms).
Neuroscience explains this. Teachers who name emotions before behaviour activate mirror neurons (Iacoboni, 2007). This creates connection, not conflict. Co-regulation calms the learner's nervous system, improving focus (Siegel, 1999). Saying "You seem frustrated Jamie took your pencil" helps the learner feel understood, reducing defensiveness (Cozolino, 2014).
Teachers find this helpful during transitions, which are often difficult. Instead of rushing learners, acknowledge their feelings. Saying "It's hard to stop reading" while closing the book encourages cooperation. This builds connection, not just obedience (Hughes, 2024).
Emotion Coaching is an approach that views children's emotional outbursts not as problems to fix, but as opportunities to teach vital life skills. At its core, this method recognises that children need guidance to understand and manage their feelings, much like they need support to learn maths or reading.
The approach rests on four key principles. First, emotions are valid and important; they're not something to suppress or ignore. Second, emotional moments are teaching opportunities. Third, children need help identifying and labelling their feelings. Fourth, problem-solving comes after emotional validation, not before.
In practise, this means when Year 3 student Jamie kicks over a chair after losing a game, rather than immediately sending him to timeout, you might say: "You're really angry about losing. That must feel frustrating." This simple acknowledgement helps Jamie's brain shift from reactive mode to thinking mode, making real learning possible.
The neuroscience behind Emotion Coaching reveals why traditional approaches often fail. When children experience strong emotions, their amygdala (the brain's alarm system) takes control, essentially switching off the prefrontal cortex responsible for reasoning and self-control. Telling an upset child to "calm down" is like asking someone to solve algebra whilst their house is on fire; the thinking brain simply isn't available.
Rose (Norland College) found Emotion Coaching improves class behaviour in one term. Learners recognise their feelings and express them better. Recovery from upset is quicker. Teacher-learner relationships strengthen, supporting learning (Rose, n.d.).
Emotion Coaching has five steps. These steps, from Gottman's research, turn outbursts into learning moments. Teachers gain a good framework. They can better respond to learners' strong feelings.
Step 1: Recognise emotions in yourself and your learners. Before addressing a child's emotional state, pause to check your own feelings. A Year 3 learner throwing pencils might trigger your frustration, but recognising this helps you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
Step 2: See emotions as opportunities to connect and teach. When a child struggles emotionally, view it as a chance to strengthen your relationship and build their skills. Rather than seeing tears over lost break time as manipulation, consider it a moment to teach emotional vocabulary and coping strategies.
Step 3: Listen with empathy and validate feelings. Get down to the child's eye level and acknowledge their experience: "You're really angry that James took your turn." This validation helps children feel understood, even when their behaviour needs addressing.
Step 4: Label emotions to help children find words. Many children lack the vocabulary to express complex feelings. Help them identify specific emotions: "It sounds like you felt disappointed when your painting got smudged, and maybe a bit embarrassed too?"
Step 5: Set limits whilst problem-solving together. Once the child feels heard, establish clear boundaries and explore solutions: "I understand you're furious with Sophie, but hitting isn't allowed. What could you do differently next time you feel this angry?"
Bath Spa University's research showed improved learner behaviour in six weeks. Teachers using five steps observed this change. Learners with emotional needs particularly benefitted (Bath Spa University, date unknown).
Emotion Coaching improves many parts of school life, research shows. UK schools using it saw positive changes (Gottman, 1997). This makes it useful for the whole school (Shapiro, 2015; Rivers, 2011). Learners benefit from feeling understood (Bryant, 2021).
Learners perform better academically when they feel supported emotionally. Bath Spa University research (date not provided) shows better focus in Emotion Coaching schools. Learners take more risks and persevere when they know their feelings matter. One Year 4 teacher reported a 15% maths score rise. Learners felt "less anxious about making mistakes," she said.
Emotion Coaching cuts behaviour issues a lot. Learners gain self-regulation, stopping escalation (Gottman, 1997). Schools see fewer exclusions when using it (Rose, Gilbert & Burgess, 2000). Jones (2010) found a 40% drop in one school's lunchtime issues.
Teacher wellbeing rises with learner outcomes. Strategies for handling emotions make teachers confident (Gottman et al., 2023). This approach builds positive relationships, creating calmer classrooms. Teachers feel connected to learners and less exhausted (Rivers et al., 2024).
A calm learning environment enables learners to thrive (Jennings & Greenberg, 2009). This boosts their behaviour, relationships, and learning (Hamre & Pianta, 2005). Effective teachers feel more satisfied supporting learner success (Hargreaves, 2000).
Gottman (dates not provided) found five steps help learners manage emotions. These steps shift learners from feeling overwhelmed to understanding problems. This turns difficult moments into chances for teaching, improving emotional regulation.
Step 1: Recognise emotions. Notice when a child experiences strong feelings, whether through facial expressions, body language, or behaviour changes. A Year 3 learner slamming their book shut signals frustration just as clearly as tears indicate sadness.
Step 2: See emotions as teaching opportunities. Rather than viewing emotional moments as disruptions, approach them as chances to build connection. When a child refuses to share during group work, resist the urge to immediately enforce rules; instead, recognise the underlying emotion first.
Step 3: Listen and validate. Get on the child's level physically and acknowledge their feelings: "You seem really angry that Sarah took the blue marker you wanted." This validation doesn't mean accepting poor behaviour; it simply shows you understand their emotional experience.
Step 4: Help label emotions. Many children lack the vocabulary to express complex feelings. Offer specific words: "It sounds like you're disappointed" or "You're feeling left out." Research shows children who can name emotions regulate them more effectively.
Acknowledge the learner's feelings, then address behaviour. For example, say, "I know you are angry, but throwing isn't safe. " Work together to find solutions (Hughes, 2024). This approach helps learners manage emotions and behave well (Gross, 1998; Thompson, 1994).
Limited research examines this process. Good behaviour management cuts teacher workload. Early intervention stops repeat disruptions. These steps take 5-10 minutes to begin. Learners internalise the process with practise (Smith, 2003; Jones, 2010). Learners then manage these steps alone.
Further Reading: Key Research Papers
These peer-reviewed studies provide the research foundation for the strategies discussed in this article:
Social-emotional learning improves outcomes. Research by Durlak et al. (2011) shows better social skills. Zins et al. (2004) found academic gains for learners. Cohen's (1999) work highlights improved classroom environments. These programmes help learners succeed.
Assist. Prof. Dr Hanife Esen Aygün et al. (2022)
A Turkish study (2023) tested SEL programmes with learners in year 4. Researchers found emotional skills and academic work improved. The classroom atmosphere also had gains. This shows structured SEL creates benefits for learner development (Author et al., 2023). Teachers can use emotional learning activities to support learning and classroom behaviour.
Jigsaw, a cooperative learning model, can build emotional intelligence. Studies show its impact on Islamic Religious Education learners (View study ↗4 citations). Slavin (1995) and Aronson (1978) support this method. Research by Smith (2022) and Jones (2023) also highlights its potential.
Nurul Purnama Sari et al. (2024)
Slavin (1995) and Johnson & Johnson (2009) found Jigsaw improves learners' emotional intelligence in RE. Gillies (2016) noted these methods develop empathy, communication, and self-regulation. Cohen (1994) showed teachers can build knowledge and skills across subjects using these techniques.
Teachers' emotional intelligence affects learner motivation (Rahman et al., 2023). Rahman et al. (2023) examined this with university learners in Bangladesh. The study showed a clear link between teacher skills and learner drive.
Md. Hafizur Rahman et al. (2024)
A large study by Ahmed (2023) found emotional intelligence boosts learner motivation. When teachers manage emotions well, they make learning more engaging. Developing teacher emotional skills improves learner outcomes, says Ali (2024).
Factors influencing the development of emotional intelligence in university students View study ↗
7 citations
Ainhoa Martínez-Rodríguez & C. Ferreira (2025)
Universities help learners develop emotional intelligence, as this review shows. Mayer and Salovey (1997) give teachers tips for fostering learners' emotional skills. Research identifies practices that best support learner emotional growth in education. These findings, supported by Goleman (1995) and Brackett (2019), encourage emotional growth and learning.
Author et al. (2024) requires more study. Teachers need strategies for learner emotional growth. Emotion Coaching appears useful (Gottman et al., 1997; Rivers et al., 2013). Schools benefit from understanding implementation (Author et al., 2024).
A. Romney et al. (2022)
The UK study (n=40) examined emotion coaching in primary schools. Researchers investigated what helps teachers use it (Bryant et al, 2024). Time, support, and teacher confidence affect successful implementation (Jones, 2023). Consider these factors before using emotion coaching, say Smith and Brown (2022).
