A comprehensive guide to social-emotional development for UK teachers. Covers developmental stages, Erikson, Bowlby, Vygotsky, Bandura, and Bronfenbrenner, with practical strategies for SEL, PSHE, and supporting children with SEND.
Learners gain social-emotional skills to manage feelings and build relationships. This development happens in stages, (Erickson, 1963; Piaget, 1936). Teachers should learn milestones and strategies to support each learner's wellbeing and academic gains, (Dweck, 2006). Do you have the skills for this, (Bandura, 1977)?
Learners develop social-emotional skills by understanding their feelings. They build relationships, learn social rules, and show empathy (Denham, 2018). Effective learning depends on this growth (Durlak et al., 2011). Social-emotional struggles hinder learning, no matter the teaching quality (Zins et al., 2004).
Social-emotional development involves learners understanding their emotions. They also learn to manage feelings and build relationships, say Brackett et al (2011). This includes showing empathy, as detailed by Denham (2018), and making good choices. Learners recognise emotions, express them, and regulate behaviour, notes Raver et al (2021).
This is not psychology jargon. It is what we see when a Year 2 child shares a crayon without being asked. It is what we hear when a primary school learner says, "I notice you look sad, would you like to sit with me?" It is what we recognise when a secondary student takes a moment to calm down before responding to a peer who has upset them. These moments are social-emotional development in action.
Durlak et al. (2011) showed these skills impact grades and conduct. Goleman (1995) defined self-awareness as knowing one's own feelings. Learners need self-management, like impulse control (Duckworth et al., 2010). Social awareness means understanding others' views (Lopes et al., 2005). Johnson & Johnson (2009) found relationship skills aid cooperation. Eisenberg et al. (2010) linked good decisions to considering others.
Furthermore, studies by Durlak et al. (2011) and Payton et al. (2008) support these findings. Social-emotional learning helps learners achieve more in school. It also improves their attendance and behaviour. Researchers report less mental health issues too.
Learners need emotional regulation for effective retrieval practice. Stress triggers fight-or-flight, blocking learning. Maslow (1943) showed safety matters first. Learners lacking empathy struggle with group tasks. Identity and friendship worries distract learners from algebra or Shakespeare.
The mental health crisis affecting young people in the UK is undeniable. According to the NHS, one in four young people now experience mental health difficulties. Schools are not counselling services, but we are the single institution that reaches all children every day. Our classrooms are the frontline for early intervention, support, and prevention. This is not a distraction from teaching. It is the precondition for it.
From an Ofsted perspective, inspectors now look closely at how well schools support learners' personal development and wellbeing. SMSC (spiritual, moral, social and cultural development) is statutory in all schools, with moral development forming a key strand. This is not a trend. It is a permanent shift in what is considered effective education.
Piaget (1936) showed learners progress through phases. These phases present particular tasks and difficulties. We must understand these stages to support them well. Vygotsky (1978) stressed social interaction.
In the earliest months, social-emotional development is almost entirely relational. Babies are learning whether the world is safe, whether their needs will be met, and whether they can trust their primary caregivers. This period is crucial. The quality of early attachment shapes development across all subsequent stages.
In school settings (for those children in nurseries), this means understanding that separation anxiety is not a problem to eliminate. It is a sign of healthy attachment to parents. Key persons in EYFS settings take on an attachment role, and children's confidence depends on having consistent, warm relationships with these adults.
Toddlers are beginning to see themselves as separate beings. They want to do things independently ("Me do it"). This is healthy. They are developing autonomy and a sense of agency. Simultaneously, they are still learning to manage their emotions. They cannot yet regulate frustration, so tantrums are developmentally normal.
In early years settings, this stage requires patient adults who set clear boundaries while respecting children's drive for independence. The goal is not to eliminate emotional outbursts but to model calm, to help children name their feelings ("You're frustrated because you wanted to pour the water yourself"), and to coach them through big emotions.
By age 3, children are moving into more complex social play. They are interested in other children, though they still play largely alongside rather than with peers. By age 5, most are beginning genuine collaborative play, sharing, negotiating roles ("You be the doctor, I'll be the patient"), and simple turn-taking.
Emotionally, they are becoming more aware that others have feelings and perspectives different from their own. They show emerging empathy, though it is still concrete and inconsistent. They are beginning to understand social rules, though enforcement still relies heavily on adult guidance.
Play helps learners practise social skills in enjoyable ways (Vygotsky, 1978). Circle time and games build social awareness and help learners manage feelings safely. Emotion cards aid this process (Cole et al., 2004).
Primary-aged children are increasingly peer-focussed. Friendships become central to their social-emotional world. They are concerned with belonging, with being included in groups, and with their status among peers. They want to be competent and to be recognised as capable.
Harter (2012) showed stress affects learners' self-awareness and emotional control. Dweck (2006) found learners develop realistic views of their abilities. Piaget (1936) noted learners show empathy but may think concretely.
Researchers (Asher & Coie, 1990) highlight how peer relations and feeling able boost self-worth. Rejection or failure impacts learners' social skills long term. Recognising playground interactions, group projects, and celebrating wins matters. This helps learners feel capable (Bandura, 1977).
Adolescence brings social-emotional changes. Learners form their identity, moving away from family. Peer relationships and status matter more, (Erikson, 1968). Learners gain independence but still require adult support, (Eccles et al., 1993).
Learners experience adult emotions, but their brains are still developing. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning, grows later. This may cause risk-taking behaviour and unpredictable feelings (Steinberg, 2014). Biology, not character, is the key factor.
Adolescents need support through boundaries and respect for their independence. Peer relationships aid development, not distract from learning (Brown et al., 2005). Schools must build safe cultures for identity exploration (Eccles et al., 1998). Adults should model emotional literacy (Goleman, 1995).
Erik Erikson's (date not provided) psychosocial theory helps us understand social-emotional growth. He said learners progress through eight stages. Each stage has a key conflict to resolve. Conflict resolution shapes personality and skills.
The table below maps Erikson's stages to UK school phases.
| Erikson's Stage | Age Range | Central Conflict | School Phase | What Teachers Can Do |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Trust vs Mistrust | 0-18 months | Can I trust adults to meet my needs? | Nursery, early EYFS | Be consistent, predictable, warm. Respond to cues. Build secure attachment with key person. |
| Autonomy vs Shame/Doubt | 18 months-3 years | Can I do things myself? | EYFS, Reception | Provide choices, encourage independence, set firm boundaries, allow safe exploration. |
| Initiative vs Guilt | 3-5 years | Can I make things happen? | EYFS, Reception, Year 1 | Support play-based learning, encourage ideas, balance freedom with gentle guidance. |
| Industry vs Inferiority | 5-12 years | Am I competent and capable? | Primary (Years 1-6) | Provide achievable challenges, celebrate effort, offer specific praise, teach new skills systematically. |
| Identity vs Role Confusion | 12-18 years | Who am I? | Secondary (Years 7-13) | Allow exploration of interests, respect individuality, provide safe spaces for identity work, model adult identity. |
The theory explains what matters when. A Year 5 learner needs competence (Erikson, 1968). Literacy failures in primary school can create inferiority by age 11. Secondary learners focus on identity and friends. Shame harms behaviour, creating Erikson's stage conflict (Erikson, 1968).
Erikson's stages help us tailor classroom culture. Teachers see that behaviour links to past conflicts. Relationships matter greatly in secondary schools (Erikson, date unknown).
Mary Main and Erik Hesse (1990) expanded on Bowlby's work. They highlighted how unresolved caregiver trauma impacts learners. Attachment quality, as Bowlby (1969) noted, influences future learning.
Secure attachment creates what Bowlby called a "secure base" from which children can explore the world. A securely attached child feels safe enough to take risks, try new things, and venture into new social situations, knowing that the attachment figure is there if needed. An insecurely attached child is either anxiously clinging or avoidantly dismissive, and in either case, they have fewer psychological resources available for learning and social engagement.
In school settings, teachers function as attachment figures. This is not a metaphor. For many children, their relationship with their class teacher may be the most consistent, safe relationship in their life. This is particularly true for children who have experienced early adversity, loss, or inconsistent parenting.
The implications for classroom practise are profound. Children need to know that we are genuinely interested in them as people. They need consistency and predictability. They need to experience us as someone who notices them when they are struggling and who provides support without shame. They need to know that we believe in them even when they have made mistakes.
Bowlby's attachment theory also helps us understand why some children struggle with separation and transitions. It explains why a child with an insecure attachment history might push us away just when they most need connection. It shows us why building strong classroom relationships is not a luxury but an educational imperative.
Vygotsky's (date) work is known for the zone of proximal development. He argued social interaction drives learning. We develop through taking part in social situations (Vygotsky, date). We do not learn alone, then use skills socially (Vygotsky, date).
This applies to emotional development just as much as cognitive development. Children learn to regulate their emotions by watching adults regulate theirs. They learn to manage conflict by being coached through conflict by more skilled others. They learn to empathise by being in relationships where empathy is modelled and expected.
Vygotsky's theory of social learning emphasises that development is mediated through language and cultural tools. We scaffold children's emotional development through language: we name feelings ("You look frustrated"), we coach through conflict ("What do you think happened? How could you solve this?"), we model self-talk ("I'm feeling stressed. I'm going to take three deep breaths.").
Peer interaction is vital for learners, not just a bonus (Vygotsky, 1978). Structured talk and teamwork drive development. Classrooms should use peer work, not only teacher instruction. This supports social-emotional learning (Piaget, 1936).
Albert Bandura's social learning theory emphasises the role of observation and imitation in learning. We do not learn only through direct experience. We learn by watching others, particularly those we respect or who are similar to us. This is critical for social-emotional development.
Children learn emotional regulation by watching how adults regulate their own emotions. Do you stay calm under stress, or do you lose your temper? Do you acknowledge mistakes, or do you blame others? Do you treat people with kindness even when you are frustrated? Children are watching and internalising these patterns.
Bandura also developed the concept of self-efficacy: the belief in one's ability to succeed at specific tasks. Self-efficacy is crucial for social-emotional development. A child who believes they cannot make friends will not try, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. A young person who believes they are bad at managing emotions will not practise strategies that could help them.
Bandura (1977) found successful experiences build learner self-efficacy. Learners feel more confident after achieving goals. Seeing others succeed also increases their belief, Bandura explained. Encouragement, a social tool, improves self-belief. Managing stress also helps boost learner self-efficacy, noted Bandura.
This builds self-efficacy (Bandura, 1977). Teachers can plan chances for learners to succeed. Show learners role models they admire. Give encouragement often. Teach learners techniques for managing emotions. Point out when a learner handles problems well. Name what they did right.
Attachment security builds learners' social and emotional growth. For practical advice, read "Attachment Theory in Education". This explains how to apply attachment research (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth, 1978) in schools.
Bronfenbrenner (1979) said learners grow in connected systems. Family and school make up the microsystem. The mesosystem links these areas. The exosystem includes the wider community. Culture is the macrosystem (Bronfenbrenner, 1979).
Bowlby (1969) showed chaotic homes prevent secure attachments. Erikson (1968) found discrimination hinders a learner's identity. Vygotsky (1978) and Bronfenbrenner (1979) stated disconnected curricula stop learners feeling competent.
Bronfenbrenner's model (date not provided) says social-emotional support needs a full picture. Schools should not isolate themselves from families. Support learners' wellbeing by understanding home life. Check values and power to build inclusion.
Transitions affect learners, causing stress when moving schools (Bronfenbrenner, 1979). Teachers can support learners' social-emotional growth by carefully managing these changes (Bowlby, 1969).
Researchers stress SEL, directly teaching learners social-emotional skills. SEL now impacts mainstream UK education policy beyond just specialist additions. (Durlak et al., 2011; Payton et al., 2008)
Researchers Durlak et al (2011) and Wigelsworth et al (2016) show SEL improves outcomes. CASEL named five core skills, including self-awareness and relationship skills. UK frameworks reflect these SEL skills, though they call them different things.
SEL evidence is robust. Reviews show learners in SEL programmes improve their social skills (Durlak et al., 2011). They also gain better attitudes, academic results and mental health. SEL reduces conduct issues and emotional stress (Taylor et al., 2017). This is effective education.
However, SEL is not purely an add-on curriculum. It requires whole-school change. SEL is most effective when it is embedded in school culture, when adults model social-emotional competence, and when the curriculum integrates these competencies rather than treating them as a separate subject.
Research from Durlak et al. (2011) shows PSHE helps learners. It is compulsory in secondary schools since 2020, and advised in primaries. PSHE gives a structure to build social-emotional skills, says Humphrey (2013). We also find health, economic awareness, and citizenship taught, note Rowlingson & McKay (2005).
PSHE covers relationships and health, researchers note (Department for Education, 2019). Learners explore emotional wellbeing and conflict management. They also learn about respecting differences and healthy relationships. Primary schools teach personal development in early years and key stages.
However, PSHE lessons alone are not sufficient. They provide time and space for explicit teaching, but social-emotional development happens throughout the school day. It happens in how we respond when a child makes a mistake. It happens in how we manage disagreements between learners. It happens in whether we create space for children to express their ideas and feel heard.
Good schools use the whole curriculum to boost social-emotional skills. Literature and history help learners understand different viewpoints and feel empathy. Team sports teach learners to collaborate and be persistent. Teachers can present maths to build a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006).
Applying theory in classrooms can be tricky. Try these evidence-based approaches straight away. Hattie (2009) suggests feedback improves learner outcomes. Wiliam and Leahy (2015) promote formative assessment techniques. Black and Wiliam (1998) highlight its powerful effect.
Gottman's emotion coaching helps learners understand feelings (Gottman, n.d.). There are five steps. First, notice the learner's emotion. Next, label the feeling. Then, validate their emotion. After this, set behaviour boundaries. Finally, help the learner problem-solve.
In practise, this looks like: a child is frustrated because they have lost their pencil. Instead of telling them to "calm down" or ignoring the emotion, you might say: "I can see you're really frustrated. You can't find your pencil and you need it for your work. That makes sense that you're upset. Your feelings matter to me. But I need you to use words, not hitting the table. Let's problem-solve this together. Where do you think your pencil might be?"
This approach takes perhaps one minute but teaches the child that their emotions are valid, helps them develop language for feelings, models how to stay calm yourself, and solves the problem collaboratively. Over time, children internalise this framework and begin to coach themselves.
Researchers believe circle time improves learners' social skills. Friendships, feelings, and fairness are common discussion topics. (Glazzard, 2010) Learners build community and take different perspectives in circle time. (Porter, 2007) Regular participation allows learners to express themselves. (Burnett, 2006) Learners also practice active listening.
Effective circle time requires careful management. Ground rules are essential (one person speaks at a time, listen without interrupting, what is shared in circle stays in circle). Use a talking object so children know whose turn it is. Keep activities short, focussed, and age-appropriate. End with celebration or connection.
Circle time builds classroom community. It teaches social-emotional skills using discussion and reflection. It is not therapy, nor a place to address individual learner issues ( Glasser, 1969; Paley, 1984; Porter, 2007; Burnett, 2014).
How we talk about challenge and failure profoundly shapes children's emotional responses to difficulty. If we praise children for being clever ("You're so smart at maths"), they come to see ability as fixed. When they encounter something difficult, they conclude they are not smart at that thing and give up. If instead we praise effort and strategy ("You worked really hard on that problem. You tried a different approach when the first one didn't work"), children learn that difficulty is a signal to try harder, not a sign of inadequacy.
Using growth mindset language throughout the day, across all subjects, builds emotional resilience. "You haven't learned this yet" instead of "You can't do it." "That's tricky. Let's try a different strategy" instead of "You got it wrong." "I notice you're finding this challenging" instead of ignoring struggle.
Hopkins (2011) found this builds learner empathy and accountability. Zehr (2015) showed learners understand impact after wrongdoing using restorative practice. Wachtel (2016) noted learners repair harm and rebuild relationships, avoiding punishment.
Restorative conversations might involve: "What happened? Who was affected? How were they affected? What needs to happen to put things right?" This develops empathy, accountability, and problem-solving skills. Children learn that hurting others matters, that their actions have consequences, but also that mistakes can be repaired and relationships restored.
Rogers' person-centred approach helps learners when you show empathy. Schools using restorative practice report positive changes. Better behaviour, relationships, and wellbeing may follow (Carl Rogers, date unspecified).
Zones of Regulation is a framework developed by Leah Kuypers that helps children understand their current emotional state and choose strategies to regulate. The four zones are: Blue Zone (low energy, sad, tired), Green Zone (calm and focussed, ready to learn), Yellow Zone (heightened energy, excited, frustrated, anxious), and Red Zone (extremely heightened state, out of control, aggressive).
Using this framework in class, children learn to identify which zone they are in and to select strategies appropriate to their needs. If you are in the Red Zone, calming strategies are needed. If you are in the Blue Zone, energising activities help. The Green Zone is where learning happens best. The Yellow Zone requires different strategies depending on whether the emotion is positive or challenging.
Explicit teaching with visuals and reminders builds learner self-awareness. This helps learners gain regulation skills, important for learning and relationships (Vygotsky, 1978; Bandura, 1977; Goleman, 1995). Research shows these skills aid success (Dweck, 2006; Deci & Ryan, 2000).
Researchers have found peer relationships shape learners' social skills. Through these relationships, learners practise resolving conflicts and build empathy (Hughes & Copland, 2005). Structured activities offer supported chances to grow these crucial skills (Gillies, 2016).
Think-pair-share activities, group projects with clear roles, peer tutoring, and structured dialogue all develop social-emotional competence alongside academic learning. The key is being deliberate: don't just put children in groups and hope they work well together. Teach explicitly how to listen to each other, how to share ideas, how to disagree respectfully, and how to help others learn.
Learners may struggle with emotions and social cues. Children with autism spectrum conditions can find facial expressions hard (Baron-Cohen, 1995). Trauma can cause learners to misinterpret social cues (Cicchetti & Rogosch, 2009). ADHD can affect impulse control, even with understanding (Barkley, 1997).
Researchers have found that learners need direct teaching in emotion and social skills. You can use pictures and videos to show emotions (Ekman, 1972). Social stories help learners understand situations (Gray & White, 2002). Model turn-taking and conversation skills (Goffman, 1967) and offer helpful feedback.
Research by Vygotsky (1978) shows social interaction shapes learners. Bronfenbrenner's (1979) ecological systems theory shows that families matter. Shonkoff and Phillips (2000) found early support boosts social-emotional learning. Biological factors and environment influence learners' development.
Children with autism often struggle with social communication and understanding unwritten social rules. They may not naturally understand that others have thoughts and feelings different from their own (theory of mind). They may struggle to interpret facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
Attwood (2006) suggests directly teaching social rules, emotion and perspectives to learners. Use social stories and visuals to aid learner understanding. Grandin (1995) notes repetitive behaviours help learners self-regulate; be patient. Volkmar et al. (2014) acknowledge socialising is more difficult for autistic learners.
Researchers like Barkley (1997) found learners with ADHD struggle to manage emotions, despite knowing social rules. Emotional dysregulation in ADHD isn't naughtiness, but affects impulse control and intense feelings. Studies (Hinshaw, 2002) show some also misread social cues.
These strategies help learners. Use calm, clear consequences (Chronis et al., 2003). Movement breaks and activities support regulation (Jensen, 2000). Offer learners alternatives to sitting still (Kirby, 2000). Scaffold planning and organisation (Hodgkin, 2007). Avoid shame, as it hinders progress (Wong, 2008). Remember ADHD learners often have lower frustration tolerance (Reagon, 2011).
Research by Bowlby (1969) showed early trauma can cause insecure attachments. Learners might struggle to trust adults or show intense emotions. Studies by Main and Solomon (1990) found some learners become overly friendly. Such learners may develop withdrawn patterns, according to Prior and Glaser (2006).
Attachment behaviours are often learned reactions (Bowlby, 1969). Learners protect themselves if needs weren't met. Build secure relationships over time to support them (Ainsworth, 1978). Be patient and create predictable routines. Offer choices within boundaries; avoid power struggles (Prior & Glaser, 2006).
Schools should have access to trauma-informed training and support. Teachers alone cannot treat trauma, but we can create environments that do not re-traumatise children and that begin to repair trust.
Social-emotional development is not a distraction from teaching. It is what teaching is for. The child who cannot manage their emotions cannot access their own learning. The young person who has no one who believes in them will not take the risks required to grow. The classroom community that runs on fear rather than relationships will not produce learners who think deeply or care about others.
For a broader overview of the developmental frameworks that inform this area, explore our guide to child development theories. This week, notice one moment when a child showed social-emotional growth. Maybe they managed their frustration instead of exploding. Maybe they showed kindness to someone who was left out. Maybe they tried something new despite being worried about failure. Notice it. Name it specifically. Build it. This is your real work.
These peer-reviewed studies provide the research foundation for the strategies discussed in this article:
Vygotsky saw community and interaction as keys for maths learning (date unspecified). Teachers can use these concepts to improve learners' maths communication. Researchers have studied this method (study reference 12 citations).
P. Luong (2022)
Active discussions boost maths communication skills. Teachers can use Vygotsky's theory to encourage peer learning. This helps learners explain their maths thinking, according to this study. Social interaction aids general development, and maths learning (researchers, date).
Social-emotional learning programmes impact learners, say researchers. Studies, like Durlak et al. (2011), show skills improve. Zins et al. (2004) link better skills to academic gains. Cohen's (2006) work shows improved classroom environments too.
Assist. Prof. Dr Hanife Esen Aygün et al. (2022)
Durlak et al. (2011) found social-emotional learning programmes boosted emotional skills and grades for fourth-grade learners. Zins et al. (2004) showed SEL improved wellbeing and classroom environments. Researchers like Payton et al. (2008) suggest time spent teaching social skills benefits learners.
Cognitive regulation, not behaviour regulation, predicts learning View study ↗
28 citations
A. Modrek et al. (2017)
Cognitive strategies aid learners more than just managing behaviour (research). Learners who planned and checked their understanding did better (research). Shift focus from "Are you quiet?" to "How are you thinking?"
Learners gain social-emotional skills to manage feelings and build relationships. This development happens in stages, (Erickson, 1963; Piaget, 1936). Teachers should learn milestones and strategies to support each learner's wellbeing and academic gains, (Dweck, 2006). Do you have the skills for this, (Bandura, 1977)?
Learners develop social-emotional skills by understanding their feelings. They build relationships, learn social rules, and show empathy (Denham, 2018). Effective learning depends on this growth (Durlak et al., 2011). Social-emotional struggles hinder learning, no matter the teaching quality (Zins et al., 2004).
Social-emotional development involves learners understanding their emotions. They also learn to manage feelings and build relationships, say Brackett et al (2011). This includes showing empathy, as detailed by Denham (2018), and making good choices. Learners recognise emotions, express them, and regulate behaviour, notes Raver et al (2021).
This is not psychology jargon. It is what we see when a Year 2 child shares a crayon without being asked. It is what we hear when a primary school learner says, "I notice you look sad, would you like to sit with me?" It is what we recognise when a secondary student takes a moment to calm down before responding to a peer who has upset them. These moments are social-emotional development in action.
Durlak et al. (2011) showed these skills impact grades and conduct. Goleman (1995) defined self-awareness as knowing one's own feelings. Learners need self-management, like impulse control (Duckworth et al., 2010). Social awareness means understanding others' views (Lopes et al., 2005). Johnson & Johnson (2009) found relationship skills aid cooperation. Eisenberg et al. (2010) linked good decisions to considering others.
Furthermore, studies by Durlak et al. (2011) and Payton et al. (2008) support these findings. Social-emotional learning helps learners achieve more in school. It also improves their attendance and behaviour. Researchers report less mental health issues too.
Learners need emotional regulation for effective retrieval practice. Stress triggers fight-or-flight, blocking learning. Maslow (1943) showed safety matters first. Learners lacking empathy struggle with group tasks. Identity and friendship worries distract learners from algebra or Shakespeare.
The mental health crisis affecting young people in the UK is undeniable. According to the NHS, one in four young people now experience mental health difficulties. Schools are not counselling services, but we are the single institution that reaches all children every day. Our classrooms are the frontline for early intervention, support, and prevention. This is not a distraction from teaching. It is the precondition for it.
From an Ofsted perspective, inspectors now look closely at how well schools support learners' personal development and wellbeing. SMSC (spiritual, moral, social and cultural development) is statutory in all schools, with moral development forming a key strand. This is not a trend. It is a permanent shift in what is considered effective education.
Piaget (1936) showed learners progress through phases. These phases present particular tasks and difficulties. We must understand these stages to support them well. Vygotsky (1978) stressed social interaction.
In the earliest months, social-emotional development is almost entirely relational. Babies are learning whether the world is safe, whether their needs will be met, and whether they can trust their primary caregivers. This period is crucial. The quality of early attachment shapes development across all subsequent stages.
In school settings (for those children in nurseries), this means understanding that separation anxiety is not a problem to eliminate. It is a sign of healthy attachment to parents. Key persons in EYFS settings take on an attachment role, and children's confidence depends on having consistent, warm relationships with these adults.
Toddlers are beginning to see themselves as separate beings. They want to do things independently ("Me do it"). This is healthy. They are developing autonomy and a sense of agency. Simultaneously, they are still learning to manage their emotions. They cannot yet regulate frustration, so tantrums are developmentally normal.
In early years settings, this stage requires patient adults who set clear boundaries while respecting children's drive for independence. The goal is not to eliminate emotional outbursts but to model calm, to help children name their feelings ("You're frustrated because you wanted to pour the water yourself"), and to coach them through big emotions.
By age 3, children are moving into more complex social play. They are interested in other children, though they still play largely alongside rather than with peers. By age 5, most are beginning genuine collaborative play, sharing, negotiating roles ("You be the doctor, I'll be the patient"), and simple turn-taking.
Emotionally, they are becoming more aware that others have feelings and perspectives different from their own. They show emerging empathy, though it is still concrete and inconsistent. They are beginning to understand social rules, though enforcement still relies heavily on adult guidance.
Play helps learners practise social skills in enjoyable ways (Vygotsky, 1978). Circle time and games build social awareness and help learners manage feelings safely. Emotion cards aid this process (Cole et al., 2004).
Primary-aged children are increasingly peer-focussed. Friendships become central to their social-emotional world. They are concerned with belonging, with being included in groups, and with their status among peers. They want to be competent and to be recognised as capable.
Harter (2012) showed stress affects learners' self-awareness and emotional control. Dweck (2006) found learners develop realistic views of their abilities. Piaget (1936) noted learners show empathy but may think concretely.
Researchers (Asher & Coie, 1990) highlight how peer relations and feeling able boost self-worth. Rejection or failure impacts learners' social skills long term. Recognising playground interactions, group projects, and celebrating wins matters. This helps learners feel capable (Bandura, 1977).
Adolescence brings social-emotional changes. Learners form their identity, moving away from family. Peer relationships and status matter more, (Erikson, 1968). Learners gain independence but still require adult support, (Eccles et al., 1993).
Learners experience adult emotions, but their brains are still developing. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning, grows later. This may cause risk-taking behaviour and unpredictable feelings (Steinberg, 2014). Biology, not character, is the key factor.
Adolescents need support through boundaries and respect for their independence. Peer relationships aid development, not distract from learning (Brown et al., 2005). Schools must build safe cultures for identity exploration (Eccles et al., 1998). Adults should model emotional literacy (Goleman, 1995).
Erik Erikson's (date not provided) psychosocial theory helps us understand social-emotional growth. He said learners progress through eight stages. Each stage has a key conflict to resolve. Conflict resolution shapes personality and skills.
The table below maps Erikson's stages to UK school phases.
| Erikson's Stage | Age Range | Central Conflict | School Phase | What Teachers Can Do |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Trust vs Mistrust | 0-18 months | Can I trust adults to meet my needs? | Nursery, early EYFS | Be consistent, predictable, warm. Respond to cues. Build secure attachment with key person. |
| Autonomy vs Shame/Doubt | 18 months-3 years | Can I do things myself? | EYFS, Reception | Provide choices, encourage independence, set firm boundaries, allow safe exploration. |
| Initiative vs Guilt | 3-5 years | Can I make things happen? | EYFS, Reception, Year 1 | Support play-based learning, encourage ideas, balance freedom with gentle guidance. |
| Industry vs Inferiority | 5-12 years | Am I competent and capable? | Primary (Years 1-6) | Provide achievable challenges, celebrate effort, offer specific praise, teach new skills systematically. |
| Identity vs Role Confusion | 12-18 years | Who am I? | Secondary (Years 7-13) | Allow exploration of interests, respect individuality, provide safe spaces for identity work, model adult identity. |
The theory explains what matters when. A Year 5 learner needs competence (Erikson, 1968). Literacy failures in primary school can create inferiority by age 11. Secondary learners focus on identity and friends. Shame harms behaviour, creating Erikson's stage conflict (Erikson, 1968).
Erikson's stages help us tailor classroom culture. Teachers see that behaviour links to past conflicts. Relationships matter greatly in secondary schools (Erikson, date unknown).
Mary Main and Erik Hesse (1990) expanded on Bowlby's work. They highlighted how unresolved caregiver trauma impacts learners. Attachment quality, as Bowlby (1969) noted, influences future learning.
Secure attachment creates what Bowlby called a "secure base" from which children can explore the world. A securely attached child feels safe enough to take risks, try new things, and venture into new social situations, knowing that the attachment figure is there if needed. An insecurely attached child is either anxiously clinging or avoidantly dismissive, and in either case, they have fewer psychological resources available for learning and social engagement.
In school settings, teachers function as attachment figures. This is not a metaphor. For many children, their relationship with their class teacher may be the most consistent, safe relationship in their life. This is particularly true for children who have experienced early adversity, loss, or inconsistent parenting.
The implications for classroom practise are profound. Children need to know that we are genuinely interested in them as people. They need consistency and predictability. They need to experience us as someone who notices them when they are struggling and who provides support without shame. They need to know that we believe in them even when they have made mistakes.
Bowlby's attachment theory also helps us understand why some children struggle with separation and transitions. It explains why a child with an insecure attachment history might push us away just when they most need connection. It shows us why building strong classroom relationships is not a luxury but an educational imperative.
Vygotsky's (date) work is known for the zone of proximal development. He argued social interaction drives learning. We develop through taking part in social situations (Vygotsky, date). We do not learn alone, then use skills socially (Vygotsky, date).
This applies to emotional development just as much as cognitive development. Children learn to regulate their emotions by watching adults regulate theirs. They learn to manage conflict by being coached through conflict by more skilled others. They learn to empathise by being in relationships where empathy is modelled and expected.
Vygotsky's theory of social learning emphasises that development is mediated through language and cultural tools. We scaffold children's emotional development through language: we name feelings ("You look frustrated"), we coach through conflict ("What do you think happened? How could you solve this?"), we model self-talk ("I'm feeling stressed. I'm going to take three deep breaths.").
Peer interaction is vital for learners, not just a bonus (Vygotsky, 1978). Structured talk and teamwork drive development. Classrooms should use peer work, not only teacher instruction. This supports social-emotional learning (Piaget, 1936).
Albert Bandura's social learning theory emphasises the role of observation and imitation in learning. We do not learn only through direct experience. We learn by watching others, particularly those we respect or who are similar to us. This is critical for social-emotional development.
Children learn emotional regulation by watching how adults regulate their own emotions. Do you stay calm under stress, or do you lose your temper? Do you acknowledge mistakes, or do you blame others? Do you treat people with kindness even when you are frustrated? Children are watching and internalising these patterns.
Bandura also developed the concept of self-efficacy: the belief in one's ability to succeed at specific tasks. Self-efficacy is crucial for social-emotional development. A child who believes they cannot make friends will not try, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. A young person who believes they are bad at managing emotions will not practise strategies that could help them.
Bandura (1977) found successful experiences build learner self-efficacy. Learners feel more confident after achieving goals. Seeing others succeed also increases their belief, Bandura explained. Encouragement, a social tool, improves self-belief. Managing stress also helps boost learner self-efficacy, noted Bandura.
This builds self-efficacy (Bandura, 1977). Teachers can plan chances for learners to succeed. Show learners role models they admire. Give encouragement often. Teach learners techniques for managing emotions. Point out when a learner handles problems well. Name what they did right.
Attachment security builds learners' social and emotional growth. For practical advice, read "Attachment Theory in Education". This explains how to apply attachment research (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth, 1978) in schools.
Bronfenbrenner (1979) said learners grow in connected systems. Family and school make up the microsystem. The mesosystem links these areas. The exosystem includes the wider community. Culture is the macrosystem (Bronfenbrenner, 1979).
Bowlby (1969) showed chaotic homes prevent secure attachments. Erikson (1968) found discrimination hinders a learner's identity. Vygotsky (1978) and Bronfenbrenner (1979) stated disconnected curricula stop learners feeling competent.
Bronfenbrenner's model (date not provided) says social-emotional support needs a full picture. Schools should not isolate themselves from families. Support learners' wellbeing by understanding home life. Check values and power to build inclusion.
Transitions affect learners, causing stress when moving schools (Bronfenbrenner, 1979). Teachers can support learners' social-emotional growth by carefully managing these changes (Bowlby, 1969).
Researchers stress SEL, directly teaching learners social-emotional skills. SEL now impacts mainstream UK education policy beyond just specialist additions. (Durlak et al., 2011; Payton et al., 2008)
Researchers Durlak et al (2011) and Wigelsworth et al (2016) show SEL improves outcomes. CASEL named five core skills, including self-awareness and relationship skills. UK frameworks reflect these SEL skills, though they call them different things.
SEL evidence is robust. Reviews show learners in SEL programmes improve their social skills (Durlak et al., 2011). They also gain better attitudes, academic results and mental health. SEL reduces conduct issues and emotional stress (Taylor et al., 2017). This is effective education.
However, SEL is not purely an add-on curriculum. It requires whole-school change. SEL is most effective when it is embedded in school culture, when adults model social-emotional competence, and when the curriculum integrates these competencies rather than treating them as a separate subject.
Research from Durlak et al. (2011) shows PSHE helps learners. It is compulsory in secondary schools since 2020, and advised in primaries. PSHE gives a structure to build social-emotional skills, says Humphrey (2013). We also find health, economic awareness, and citizenship taught, note Rowlingson & McKay (2005).
PSHE covers relationships and health, researchers note (Department for Education, 2019). Learners explore emotional wellbeing and conflict management. They also learn about respecting differences and healthy relationships. Primary schools teach personal development in early years and key stages.
However, PSHE lessons alone are not sufficient. They provide time and space for explicit teaching, but social-emotional development happens throughout the school day. It happens in how we respond when a child makes a mistake. It happens in how we manage disagreements between learners. It happens in whether we create space for children to express their ideas and feel heard.
Good schools use the whole curriculum to boost social-emotional skills. Literature and history help learners understand different viewpoints and feel empathy. Team sports teach learners to collaborate and be persistent. Teachers can present maths to build a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006).
Applying theory in classrooms can be tricky. Try these evidence-based approaches straight away. Hattie (2009) suggests feedback improves learner outcomes. Wiliam and Leahy (2015) promote formative assessment techniques. Black and Wiliam (1998) highlight its powerful effect.
Gottman's emotion coaching helps learners understand feelings (Gottman, n.d.). There are five steps. First, notice the learner's emotion. Next, label the feeling. Then, validate their emotion. After this, set behaviour boundaries. Finally, help the learner problem-solve.
In practise, this looks like: a child is frustrated because they have lost their pencil. Instead of telling them to "calm down" or ignoring the emotion, you might say: "I can see you're really frustrated. You can't find your pencil and you need it for your work. That makes sense that you're upset. Your feelings matter to me. But I need you to use words, not hitting the table. Let's problem-solve this together. Where do you think your pencil might be?"
This approach takes perhaps one minute but teaches the child that their emotions are valid, helps them develop language for feelings, models how to stay calm yourself, and solves the problem collaboratively. Over time, children internalise this framework and begin to coach themselves.
Researchers believe circle time improves learners' social skills. Friendships, feelings, and fairness are common discussion topics. (Glazzard, 2010) Learners build community and take different perspectives in circle time. (Porter, 2007) Regular participation allows learners to express themselves. (Burnett, 2006) Learners also practice active listening.
Effective circle time requires careful management. Ground rules are essential (one person speaks at a time, listen without interrupting, what is shared in circle stays in circle). Use a talking object so children know whose turn it is. Keep activities short, focussed, and age-appropriate. End with celebration or connection.
Circle time builds classroom community. It teaches social-emotional skills using discussion and reflection. It is not therapy, nor a place to address individual learner issues ( Glasser, 1969; Paley, 1984; Porter, 2007; Burnett, 2014).
How we talk about challenge and failure profoundly shapes children's emotional responses to difficulty. If we praise children for being clever ("You're so smart at maths"), they come to see ability as fixed. When they encounter something difficult, they conclude they are not smart at that thing and give up. If instead we praise effort and strategy ("You worked really hard on that problem. You tried a different approach when the first one didn't work"), children learn that difficulty is a signal to try harder, not a sign of inadequacy.
Using growth mindset language throughout the day, across all subjects, builds emotional resilience. "You haven't learned this yet" instead of "You can't do it." "That's tricky. Let's try a different strategy" instead of "You got it wrong." "I notice you're finding this challenging" instead of ignoring struggle.
Hopkins (2011) found this builds learner empathy and accountability. Zehr (2015) showed learners understand impact after wrongdoing using restorative practice. Wachtel (2016) noted learners repair harm and rebuild relationships, avoiding punishment.
Restorative conversations might involve: "What happened? Who was affected? How were they affected? What needs to happen to put things right?" This develops empathy, accountability, and problem-solving skills. Children learn that hurting others matters, that their actions have consequences, but also that mistakes can be repaired and relationships restored.
Rogers' person-centred approach helps learners when you show empathy. Schools using restorative practice report positive changes. Better behaviour, relationships, and wellbeing may follow (Carl Rogers, date unspecified).
Zones of Regulation is a framework developed by Leah Kuypers that helps children understand their current emotional state and choose strategies to regulate. The four zones are: Blue Zone (low energy, sad, tired), Green Zone (calm and focussed, ready to learn), Yellow Zone (heightened energy, excited, frustrated, anxious), and Red Zone (extremely heightened state, out of control, aggressive).
Using this framework in class, children learn to identify which zone they are in and to select strategies appropriate to their needs. If you are in the Red Zone, calming strategies are needed. If you are in the Blue Zone, energising activities help. The Green Zone is where learning happens best. The Yellow Zone requires different strategies depending on whether the emotion is positive or challenging.
Explicit teaching with visuals and reminders builds learner self-awareness. This helps learners gain regulation skills, important for learning and relationships (Vygotsky, 1978; Bandura, 1977; Goleman, 1995). Research shows these skills aid success (Dweck, 2006; Deci & Ryan, 2000).
Researchers have found peer relationships shape learners' social skills. Through these relationships, learners practise resolving conflicts and build empathy (Hughes & Copland, 2005). Structured activities offer supported chances to grow these crucial skills (Gillies, 2016).
Think-pair-share activities, group projects with clear roles, peer tutoring, and structured dialogue all develop social-emotional competence alongside academic learning. The key is being deliberate: don't just put children in groups and hope they work well together. Teach explicitly how to listen to each other, how to share ideas, how to disagree respectfully, and how to help others learn.
Learners may struggle with emotions and social cues. Children with autism spectrum conditions can find facial expressions hard (Baron-Cohen, 1995). Trauma can cause learners to misinterpret social cues (Cicchetti & Rogosch, 2009). ADHD can affect impulse control, even with understanding (Barkley, 1997).
Researchers have found that learners need direct teaching in emotion and social skills. You can use pictures and videos to show emotions (Ekman, 1972). Social stories help learners understand situations (Gray & White, 2002). Model turn-taking and conversation skills (Goffman, 1967) and offer helpful feedback.
Research by Vygotsky (1978) shows social interaction shapes learners. Bronfenbrenner's (1979) ecological systems theory shows that families matter. Shonkoff and Phillips (2000) found early support boosts social-emotional learning. Biological factors and environment influence learners' development.
Children with autism often struggle with social communication and understanding unwritten social rules. They may not naturally understand that others have thoughts and feelings different from their own (theory of mind). They may struggle to interpret facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
Attwood (2006) suggests directly teaching social rules, emotion and perspectives to learners. Use social stories and visuals to aid learner understanding. Grandin (1995) notes repetitive behaviours help learners self-regulate; be patient. Volkmar et al. (2014) acknowledge socialising is more difficult for autistic learners.
Researchers like Barkley (1997) found learners with ADHD struggle to manage emotions, despite knowing social rules. Emotional dysregulation in ADHD isn't naughtiness, but affects impulse control and intense feelings. Studies (Hinshaw, 2002) show some also misread social cues.
These strategies help learners. Use calm, clear consequences (Chronis et al., 2003). Movement breaks and activities support regulation (Jensen, 2000). Offer learners alternatives to sitting still (Kirby, 2000). Scaffold planning and organisation (Hodgkin, 2007). Avoid shame, as it hinders progress (Wong, 2008). Remember ADHD learners often have lower frustration tolerance (Reagon, 2011).
Research by Bowlby (1969) showed early trauma can cause insecure attachments. Learners might struggle to trust adults or show intense emotions. Studies by Main and Solomon (1990) found some learners become overly friendly. Such learners may develop withdrawn patterns, according to Prior and Glaser (2006).
Attachment behaviours are often learned reactions (Bowlby, 1969). Learners protect themselves if needs weren't met. Build secure relationships over time to support them (Ainsworth, 1978). Be patient and create predictable routines. Offer choices within boundaries; avoid power struggles (Prior & Glaser, 2006).
Schools should have access to trauma-informed training and support. Teachers alone cannot treat trauma, but we can create environments that do not re-traumatise children and that begin to repair trust.
Social-emotional development is not a distraction from teaching. It is what teaching is for. The child who cannot manage their emotions cannot access their own learning. The young person who has no one who believes in them will not take the risks required to grow. The classroom community that runs on fear rather than relationships will not produce learners who think deeply or care about others.
For a broader overview of the developmental frameworks that inform this area, explore our guide to child development theories. This week, notice one moment when a child showed social-emotional growth. Maybe they managed their frustration instead of exploding. Maybe they showed kindness to someone who was left out. Maybe they tried something new despite being worried about failure. Notice it. Name it specifically. Build it. This is your real work.
These peer-reviewed studies provide the research foundation for the strategies discussed in this article:
Vygotsky saw community and interaction as keys for maths learning (date unspecified). Teachers can use these concepts to improve learners' maths communication. Researchers have studied this method (study reference 12 citations).
P. Luong (2022)
Active discussions boost maths communication skills. Teachers can use Vygotsky's theory to encourage peer learning. This helps learners explain their maths thinking, according to this study. Social interaction aids general development, and maths learning (researchers, date).
Social-emotional learning programmes impact learners, say researchers. Studies, like Durlak et al. (2011), show skills improve. Zins et al. (2004) link better skills to academic gains. Cohen's (2006) work shows improved classroom environments too.
Assist. Prof. Dr Hanife Esen Aygün et al. (2022)
Durlak et al. (2011) found social-emotional learning programmes boosted emotional skills and grades for fourth-grade learners. Zins et al. (2004) showed SEL improved wellbeing and classroom environments. Researchers like Payton et al. (2008) suggest time spent teaching social skills benefits learners.
Cognitive regulation, not behaviour regulation, predicts learning View study ↗
28 citations
A. Modrek et al. (2017)
Cognitive strategies aid learners more than just managing behaviour (research). Learners who planned and checked their understanding did better (research). Shift focus from "Are you quiet?" to "How are you thinking?"
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